#( knowing our health care system it might take the whole year )
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LOUISE RAW speaks to Long Covid sufferer Sam Williams and others who feel let down by a state that ignores their debilitating illness
ON NOVEMBER 29 this year, a groundbreaking study by German research centre Helmholtz Munich and Munchen University was published.
It seems to confirm beyond doubt that the condition we call Long Covid (LC) is “real” — physiological, as opposed to psychological.
The long-lasting brain effects many sufferers have reported may finally be explained by its findings — that the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein remains in the brain’s protective layers and the bone marrow of the skull, for up to four years after infection.
This, researcher say, may trigger chronic inflammation, and an increased risk of neurodegenerative disease.
You could almost hear the Long Covid community’s weary, collective “We told you so!”
It’s been a long and draining few years for them, as sufferer and activist Sam Williams told me recently when I spoke to him about the hand-grenade LC had lobbed into his and his family’s lives.
Sam says he feels as if he’s in mourning for the life he had before — and, in 2019, it was a good one.
Sam was a fit and healthy husband and father, probably fitter than most men in their forties, with a very active lifestyle, including running marathons.
Now, he describes himself as “completely broken.”
Sam has lost not just the everyday things — the ability to work and to drive — but much of the fun of life, too. Family bike rides, camping trips and long walks with the dogs are now a thing of the past.
Sam can’t relax with a drink, because alcohol makes his symptoms worse; and, he says, has rarely been able to be sexually intimate with his wife since becoming ill, which has naturally affected their relationship.
Sam’s wife has had to take on a higher-paid job to cover bills, and to take over far more household chores. “It’s like a whole new relationship,” Sam says. He feels guilty about this, and although he knows, logically, it’s not his fault, that doesn’t stop the self-blame. At times, he tells me he’s felt hopeless, and even suicidal.
It’s incredible how we ignore the growing group of people enduring similar experiences. It is also partly because we ignore it that the LC community continues to grow. Fresh infections occur as people eschew masks and other simple mitigations; so new cases of Long Covid develop, and older ones are worsened by repeat infections.
Currently more than two million people in the UK say they’re suffering the effects of Long Covid, and the vast majority — 1.5 million — find their everyday lives impacted.
An astonishing one third of all health care workers have Long Covid symptoms, and 1 per cent of all our children.
More than half of those reporting Long Covid symptoms say they’ve been suffering for two years or more.
As there’s still no diagnostic test, we can only say people report themselves as LC sufferers.
Accordingly, people can’t seem to resist “helpful” advice: Think positive! Just get on with it! Have you tried this essential oil?
No chronic illness sufferer has, as far as I know, ever recovered due to being told it might be in their head; it’s an attitude that has made Sam himself sicker, as he’s tried to “push through” his symptoms — which only increased them.
While we don’t know yet how the Munich study will be received, change seems likely to be slower than sufferers would like, and than we all need.
The current situation leaves people who are already exhausted and overwhelmed by illness facing further battles: with ignorance, with self-blame, and with the system, as they struggle for a diagnosis.
Sam is not alone in saying he feels abandoned by a society in “deep denial” about his condition. This sense of isolation is all the greater for being one of very few Long Covid activists of colour; he also suspects this makes it even harder for him to get his voice heard.
The media seems generally uninterested; this should be a national story, but appears to be regarded as yesterday’s news. LC is just not, it seems, in any sense “sexy.”
Two of the UK’s best-known writers share Sam’s struggle.
It’s well-known that Michael Rosen became seriously ill with Covid after contracting it in March 2020.
The bestselling author, poet and presenter was in a coma for 40 days, in intensive care for 48, and in hospital for a total of three months.
Rosen still has blurred vision he suffers in his left eye, and hearing loss in his left ear, which unbalances him.
“I’ve also got numb toes. It’s as if you have these strange cushions underneath your feet,” Rosen said in a recent interview.
“It’s possible that these creaks and pains which I call ‘pinball pains’ around my body have increased a lot since Covid. But if I do a lot of stretching, that does help.”
Rosen had also some counselling to talk through the hallucinations and delirium he experienced in hospital, although he says his dreams were “more hippy-like than nightmarish” — he can recall bizarre visions of, inexplicably, German Christmas parties. His sleep remains disturbed:
“There are some nasty moments when I wake up in the night. I call it ‘Lonely Corridor Syndrome’. As I’m lying there, I’m instantly back in the hospital lying there. It’s a very mild form of post-traumatic stress disorder.
“There’s not much you can do about it immediately. I have to go into various forms of mental and physical tricks to play on myself to put it away again. It’s a sense of loneliness.”
Rosen described his ordeal and recovery in Many Different Kinds Of Love, combining prose and verse with enduring tribute to the NHS. It’s a good sign that his latest book is called Getting Better; but it’s still an ongoing process, and Rosen acknowledges the importance of family support, not available to all: “I dread to think what it would have been like if I’d just come home to an empty house.”
Another acclaimed author and LC sufferer is AL Kennedy.
I spoke to Kennedy about how she feels now, as she recovers from another Covid bout. A very fit woman with a punishing schedule, Kennedy has found her literary skills affected as well as her body: “With the LC my heart beat is still 10/15 bpm faster when I’m just generally unfit — much faster than my fit rate.
“I can work, but I’m slower.”
I can’t see a drop in quality in new work she’s kindly sent me compared to her old: but Kennedy of course knows her style better than anyone, and she can. It’s frustrating: “[My work] still needs more rewrites than it did. I need a lot more rest. The thyroid rumbles along in the background. If I lecture, I have to set out notes for safety and follow them.”
She was used to being able to speak spontaneously and just follow the track her mind took.
“I’m way better than I was,” Kennedy reflects: “In 2021 I would be knocked out for weeks at a time. Semi-permanent migraine, couldn’t finish sentences, couldn’t remember tasks to complete them, probably not a safe driver...”
Life is still not the same: “A lot has improved, but I live in fear of re-infection; and group work is hard to run in a mask. When I’m working at a uni, or travelling, I am basically in a mask for seven or eight hours straight... I compromise on stage without a mask and then signing [books] with one... It’s miserable,” she concludes.
The future is unpredictable, both in how Britain will react to the news out of Munich and how the condition will develop: researchers have found evidence of the protein spike four years after infection not because it goes away after that, but because four years is all the distance we currently have from those first infections.
As Sam says, “Many people recover. Many people get worse. A few weeks ago, I met Alan, who got Long Covid in March 2020. This March he had a mini-stroke, and lost the sight in one eye overnight.”
Sam tends to operate on pure adrenalin, which is unsustainable long-term, and means his Long Covid activism takes a toll on him: as much as he wants to raise awareness, and as vital as that is, every article he writes, every radio appearance, drains his limited resources of energy. A Catch-22 situation.
Sam is not impressed by the new government’s response so far.
Although figures reveal LC leading to higher healthcare demands and costs, meaning it is both an economic and ethical imperative to tackle it, the Department for Health and Social Care seems coy about its plans.
Parliamentary Under-Secretary Andrew Gwynne admitted, in response to a parliamentary question form the Greens, that he chaired a “roundtable” of researchers and “people with lived experience” in October this year.
The LC community has been unenthusiastic about what it calls this “secret meeting” to which they say they were not invited: and they want concrete information about Gwynne’s next steps.
Sam considers himself to have disabilities as a result of LC, as many do; he is also extremely concerned by the late November passing of the Assisted Dying Bill.
“I am absolutely horrified by it,” he tells me.
“In Canada, they started off with assisted dying only applying to the terminally ill.
“Then they expanded to include chronically ill and disabled people.
“I, and many other disabled people, are terrified it will happen here in the same way. And there’s no coincidence that the Assisted Dying Bill comes at the same time as the white paper on Getting Britain Working.”
The government must act fast to take on board the Munich findings, and involve activists like Sam and the wider the LC community in an open and transparent process for future funding, support, treatment and mitigation.
This is a frightening and unpredictable condition which could affect any one of us at any time: and an increased cohort of people with disabilities at a time when our National Health Service has been pushed to its knees is alarming.
Labour must act fast, must involve activists like Sam Williams, and must make Long Covid a priority, if we’re not going to deepen what is already a crisis.
#mask up#public health#wear a mask#wear a respirator#pandemic#still coviding#covid#covid 19#coronavirus#sars cov 2#long covid#covid conscious#covid19#covid is not over
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I had a few thoughts about the recent murder (targeted killing? assassination?) of the United Health Care CEO recently. I'll start with the most immediately related which is…
THE OBVIOUS
I think that this was an immoral act and I oppose it. The taking of human life is always wrong and it should only be done as a last resort to prevent even greater harm. This killing will not change United Healthcare's policies at all, whoever replaces him will likely follow exactly the same policies.
Whenever (and if) this person is found, they will be tried for their crime and, if convicted, punished for it, and I think that all of that is entirely reasonable.
With that said, we've spoken about the morality of the person who killed Mr. Thompson, but that's not the whole story because…
THE VICTIM
Mr. Thompson himself is hardly a beacon of morality. United Healthcare is widely regarded as one of the most vicious health insurance companies in terms of denying care in order to contain expenses at great human cost. Many doctors have recently been asked to estimate how many lost person-years of life UHC is responsible for and the lowest estimate I've seen runs into the millions.
Mr. Thompson was not UHC, but he was its CEO. He may not have personally denied a single claim, but he is responsible for creating and maintaining the system that has denied millions of them. He knew what the system he oversaw did and he took no action to stop it. He knew that the incentives he put in place and the training that he approved were leading his employees to turn down thousands of necessary medical requests each month and did nothing. He knew that the AI tool whose implementation he approved and oversaw had an error rate of up to 90%, resulting in even more necessary medical requests being denied, but he did nothing.
Again, none of this justifies murder, but anyone would be justified in questioning whether some punishment was necessary and what it says about our system that it was unable to deliver any. The reason for that is…
THE CORPORATE EFFECT
Has anyone else noticed that making a crime corporate lets you get away with it? If I dump thousands of gallons of toxic chemicals into a river in order to save a few bucks, I'm probably going to go to jail for a long time and be charged a fine that might take me the rest of my life to pay off if I ever do. On the other hand, if a person working for a corporation dumps thousands of gallons of toxic chemicals into a river to save a few bucks, the odds of them going to jail are extremely low and the corporation itself will probably end up paying a fairly small fine, probably less than what they saved by dumping in the first place.
Corporate crime provides a diffusion of responsibility. The person doing the dumping is probably part of a group and each person in the group probably played some small part in the dumping. The group that did the dumping is responsible to a manager who did not personally do the dumping and may not have explicitly approved it, and that manager is responsible to an even higher manager with an even more abstract responsibility over specific actions.
Which one of those people is responsible for the crime? Well, in a direct, legal sense, none of them, but in a very real sense, all of them. In this way, corporations function a lot like organized crime families where lower level individuals perform the actual crime and insulate higher level individuals from the legal consequences thereof except that, in the corporate structure, the responsibility for the action is diffused so far that even the lower level individuals are often protected from the consequences.
THE RESULTS
Look, it's not mysterious, we know what happens in these cases. There's a ton of good research out there detailing what happens in communities that are both under-policed and over-policed, and this is a case that is both under-policed (corporate criminals not being held accountable) and over-policed (those who cross corporations being prosecuted to the full extent of the law). These kinds of situations lead to vigilante action and if that vigilante action persists for long enough, those committing it coalesce into gangs which are even more capable of vigilante action than individuals are.
If the underlying problems remain unaddressed for too long and the police focus on the gangs instead of on the crimes themselves, conflict eventually develops directly between the vigilantes (gangs) and law enforcement.
There's also a long history in this in terms of class economics as well. We have a sort of romantic view of the Progressive Era in terms of how worker's rights were achieved and, while they were achieved partly through peaceful political effort, they also came about due to a surge of violence against the capital and managerial classes. The weekend and the 40-hour work week were not just magnanimously given to workers, partially they came about by convincing those in power of the humanity of these efforts, but partially they also came about because desperate workers were burning the houses of their bosses, sometimes even killing them, and some level of worker's rights seemed a worthwhile compromise in comparison.
In other words, this state of events is lamentable, but also predictable. The eventual solution is pretty predictable as well; something is going to have to give. If the Progressive Era is anything to go off of, there is only so much cracking down that can be done, so it's likely that we will eventually see at least some shifting of power from corporations back to individuals, i.e., from capital back toward labor.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Look, what the shooter did was wrong and he can and should shoulder the consequences of that, but we can't simply take the action in isolation. What Mr. Thompson did was also wrong, and likely far more wrong than just the killing of a single individual, just not in a way that our legal system has been built to address, and when wrongdoing persists in a way that our justice system is incapable of addressing, vigilante actions are inevitable.
When people say that they are conflicted about the morality of this particular act (or, as much of the internet is doing, celebrating it), this is what they mean. Just because the shooter's actions are morally wrong doesn't mean they aren't understandable. Unfortunately, until our system adjusts to be capable of addressing morally repugnant behavior like Mr. Thompson's, it's likely that more individuals will feel the need to take justice into their own hands in the future.
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7/17/2024
It was an inside kinda day.
Positive thing: I got a lot of sleep.
I ended up not getting much done just because I was exhausted, and also stressed thinking about internship tomorrow. Going to bed and waking up early and being there all day is just the worst. I'm hoping it won't be so bad this week since our supervisor said she'd take us on field trips to different internship sites, but she might still be sick, and either way she's canceled on stuff before.
I really need to get ahold of her so I can tell her I'm quitting early. Going there the past few months has just been draining away my willpower like a huge motivation vacuum.
Man. I thought I'd be over working at places that make me feel shitty ever since I quit my last job, but it had to be baked right into my program (which, for the record, has also been making me feel shitty). I was talking to a classmate friend a bit and she said she could see her future so clearly once she graduated, becoming a private practice counselor straight out the gate. I think that made me realize I am just in a whole other universe compared to that. My mind is focused on being anywhere else, doing anything else. It almost breaks my heart because this is what I wanted to do since I was little, and certainly I think I'd be a very good counselor.
But not here. And not like this. I need a serious break regardless, and it is just not being given to me. I can take a lot but I'm at my limit and it's terrible that the overarching message in this field I keep hearing is that we don't rest. Whatever self care we tout, we don't actually follow through with that. We have to push through because our clients need us and nobody else can do it.
And I think it is true to some extent. Our system just doesn't allow for better, accessible mental health services, and it falls to those willing to sacrifice a lot to be able to help. Another classmate friend told me he's seen so many counselors who have just lost their humanity over the years trying to stay and help at these places. I know what he means. Especially at internship - the softness and gentleness is just not in them anymore, even the ones who stay generally kind. I can understand why. It's a tough job. Even I can feel some of my gentleness leaving and I hate that more than anything.
I remember feeling frustrated because people have said "this career just might not be for you." And if it isn't? What would you have me do? I still need to finish my degree. The feeling of being trapped is so palpable I could almost reach out and shake the bars of my cage for real.
Anyway, tomorrow I'll just get myself through internship, and then the next day the same thing, and then I can sleep in on the weekend. On Sunday I'm volunteering at a dinner for Japanese students visiting from Takasaki High School (which I believe is in Gunma Prefecture). I'm excited for that. And hopefully somewhere in between I'll be able to flag down my internship supervisor and tell her I'm quitting early.
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i don't know if you guys are going to be able to help us but I don't know who to turn to,
Just for context, I am part of a newly discovered system, we have known that there are multiple people around it's been a couple of years but it was just recently that it was suggested that this might be caused by a disorder, but this is something that only a couple of other alters know about; our host knows about us and has interacted with us before but he is in deep denial over it.
Anyway, recently I have been trying to organize things and manage our inner world but we are having quite a few problems with communication and acceptance over this condition and it's starting to leak into the host's everyday life; (like for example we aways suffered from headaches due to switching but it's been getting more frequent and it makes our host (or anyone for that matter) to be completely unable to function properly, which leads to other health related problems); I know I should seek a therapist or a doctor to talk about this but medical care at the moment is pretty much impossible because of monetary and trauma related reasons so I am not sure how I should go about this; I just want to take care of my system and our host but it is just getting a little too much and I am lost I don't know what to do.
I am here looking for some advice from people that understand system related issues like this but it's completely okay if you guys can't help us, and my apologies in case you already answered any other ask like this.
Thank you.
Hi! So we know you said you couldn’t seek therapy or medical help, but we’d like to pass along something that often gets repeated for us in therapy.
We’ve been doing trauma work over the past 8 months or so. It is grueling, exhausting, and depressing work. We regularly get overwhelmed and reach a point where we’re not able to function. When it gets to this point, we don’t talk about trauma in therapy until we’re feeling better. It’s all about prioritizing our health and well-being, and that can’t happen if we’re always pushing ourselves in therapy and in our everyday lives without taking breaks to check in and relax.
Even if y’all aren’t doing trauma work, something very similar may be happening. You might be trying to take on too much at once, causing your system to suffer as a result. If learning about and trying to manage your system is making it difficult for you to function, you very well may need to pump the brakes for a while. Spend some time not focusing on your system. Learn a new hobby, watch a show or play a video game, and let your system’s inner workings sit unconsidered for some time. After your system has had a chance to calm down, and you’re not stressing out over your plurality as much, it may be safe to continue your efforts. But pushing yourself and your system too hard too fast can absolutely cause your system to get burnt out and have more difficulties recovering than normal.
So definitely our best advice for y’all would be to take things slow! Don’t push yourself too hard, and if it’s getting difficult to function, pause your efforts of in-system work until your system is feeling better. Do something you enjoy for a while and try to relax. Your system isn’t going anywhere - it’s okay to take your time figuring this out. And going slowly/taking your time with this will have huge benefits for your whole system. There’s no rush to get everything sorted and figured out ASAP. In fact, rushing like this can be detrimental (and it sounds like it’s had some negative effects on your system!).
For your host in denial, we have a post specifically for dealing with denial - maybe it could help put his mind at ease and take the pressure off the rest of you a little bit:
We’re wishing you the best of luck with this! We really aren’t a good stand in for therapy or medical treatment, though we understand you may be nervous to seek treatment if you’ve been traumatized in the past, or entirely unable to afford it. We hope that soon you can get the help you need for your system - there are gentle, trauma-informed therapists out there who could handle your system’s situation with kindness and grace! Until you’re able to access something like that, though, we’re wishing you peace, comfort, and plenty of rest! Good luck with everything, and remember to stay hydrated and take plenty of breaks!
🌸 Margo and 💫 Parker
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tw general mentions of mental health
so i have this friend. let's call them emily. i've known emily for two years now, and they've grown to be one of my closest friends. mostly because we both really struggle with mental health stuff and at that point in my life no one else knew about those struggles. we helped each other through a lot of really crappy stuff and times. the difference is, in those two years, i've gone to, and am still in therapy, and have learned coping skills, have a support system etc etc etc ive tried convincing emily (on numerous occasions) to do the same, but they consistently refuse to do so, and they still pretty much only have me. there's also a ton of other stuff, but i could write a ten page essay about that. pretty much, our friendship, even though it's great feels kind of one-sided where im reaching out and they take weeks or months to respond (if they do at all) and dont really talk to me when we see each other in person and it's just getting really draining emotionally. so a few days ago, i finally make the decision to, well, not cut them off but pretty much tell them i'd had enough and im going to take a break for a while. they responded and pretty much just went straight to the self-deprecation (pretty much im sorry im so worthless and can't even maintain a friendship). and while im just so relieved that i've cut them off, more or less, to some degree, im just so worried since im all they have and if im gone who knows what will happen. so what should i do?
sorry for the long message
hum, that’s a tricky one.
First things first, I’d shove a WHOLE lotta resources on mental health in their messages. I know it may seem like your annoying them, but if it’s that bad they deserve to know there’s helplines and chats and groups that they can turn to. (I suggest vet them before you send them)
Secondly, sometimes it’s hard for people to realize they are allowed to reach out for help. Even if they only think it’s minor or it will take valuable space for others that “ are worst than them” But they have every right to reach out for help, their allowed to go to people with minor issues or major issues. And if you can somehow get that through their head you’ll probably see some improvement.
thirdly, I don’t think they can access traditional in person therapy as it seems. You can never know why, personally for me it’s a whole BIG awful talk about my mental health that I never want to tell my family. And it might be a similar situation with your friend, so unorthodox ways to get that same therapy experience might benefit them alot.
fourthly, you can’t help everyone. Sometimes it’s on them to figure out how to cope and understand how to get better, and even though you love them and care deeply it’s hard to get them to understand that. If you’re worried your friend might be engaging in risky behaviors (S/H, alcoholism, drugs, suicidal behavior, taking too many risks for no apparent reason.)
I suggest trying to talk to them about harm reduction.
fifthly, you being emotionally drained and exhausted by being their therapist friend is totally valid. your friend saying self deprecating things is just a symptom of a bigger problem they have, it's not your fault or anything you need a break from them. if they were in the same situation they would do the same thing, it's hard to manage both your mental health and your friends. I don't blame you for being exhausted, the reason I do this stuff is because I'm exhausted by my own problems and this is a healthy and constructive way to help both you and me. your helping your friend out of love, but also obligation.
I think a good plan to do is.
give your friend a pep talk and show them tons of alternate ways to access therapy that is not in person.
give them helpline information and tell the "I've known you for so long, I'd never try to hurt you. I just want you to know there's options if life gets hard and I'm not around
tell them about harm reduction, and CURB any and all negative connotations about addiction and self harm. if they are suffering the best thing you can do is be accepting and show them ways to safely and also reduce the harm of the addictions/self harm.
tell them if they are being abused. in anyway period, they can trust you to not victim blame or something without knowing the full story. we don't know what's happening with them, but we have to be kind and caring if that's the reason for her mental health. tell them "it was never your fault, you didn't know." or "you were just a kid, it was never you that was the problem but how you were treated. it's okay to be upset or angry, or grieve the life you should have had. that's normal. trust me I'm here for you."
also if the whole abuse thing is a yes, give them tons of abuse helplines. you and I don't know how to go forward with that knowledge but the helplines know how to.
support them and tell them truely why you feel drained (if you Hadn't already.) and tell them you actually care alot about them and this is not an attack or that your mad at them or anything. your overwhelmed too, and you both should feel not overwhelmed. (VERY IMPORTANT, YOU HAVE TO SAY YOUR NOT ANGRY OR ANYTHING. mentally ill people tend to think the worst if you don't say it. be kind and caring, and they should not feel so bad.)
if that doesn't work, I think you yourself should call a helpline and ask about strategies to help your friend. they should know a lot more than both you and me.
thank you for sending an ask in, this has been interesting!
I hope you can figure out a way to help your friend.
if worst comes to worse, I suggest you give your friend character.ai's psychologist's link to your friend. it's better than nothing, and it's surprisingly helped me too. so it might help your friend open up.
here's the link LINK
I hope I was able to provide a push in the right direction, remember this is the BAD advice blog. not everything will work, sometimes we both have to fail a bit to figure out the best way to help people.
#-belle/pop#the bad advice blog#send me anons#mental ill health#mental illness#mental health#answered asks#answered questions#anon#anon ask#asks#anonymous#anonymous asks
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Hey, i just read a vent you posted a while ago, please dont read the rest if it might affect you negatively.
I just wanna say, i have a friend who has depression. She talks to me alot, and the stuff we talk about revolve around the same topic like you've mentioned. I never, ever found her boring, nor have i ever wanted to stop talking to her enrirely. I dont think id ever get tired of our conversations. Sure, everyone has their own mental health to take care of, and i know when to ask her for a bit of time for myself, since i know i wont be of much help to anyone if im not stable myself. And im confident that it works for us both. She has a support system that's got her back when i can't be there for her, and when i can, I'll lend an ear. always.
What im saying is, there's nothing wrong with talking to your friends or anyone close to you about what you're dealing with or going through. They love you, and they want to be there for you, just like how i want to be there for my friend. And ill never ever want her to feel like she couldnt talk to me about anything she's going through, even if its the same thing, even if its over and over again for 5 years, and for however long in the future. Just like how your friends and close ones would want you to talk to them.
we're human, and we all need our support. So please, if you can, never feel guilty about sharing or talking about anything you're going through with the people you love and who love you. Some people would make you feel otherwise, but you have to be strong and know that there's nothing wrong with something so guiltless about sharing your weight, no matter what kind of weight it may be.
Im sorry if this was too much to read and i know this wont make things okay. i just wanted to let you know this. stay safe and take care, okay?
ah i appreciate the input, thank you!!
i agree with what you're saying but at the same time i think my issue comes from like. not feeling I'm allowed to complain when I'm not taking any steps to change things
ik my friends love me but also i feel like i make at least some of them mad when i talk abt my problems bc it's like "if you're suffering so much why aren't you doing anything about it"
so. ig this is another layer to the whole thing. the guilt stems more from complaining abt smth i might possibly one day be able to change (tho i highly doubt it, given my life experience so far, which is why i stopped trying) than just venting abt my feelings. i think. but then turning it into something beautiful can ease the guilt at least bc it gives it some other excuse to exist, if that makes sense
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In recent years, there has been a notable shift towards receiving healthcare treatment in the comfort of one’s home, raising the question: Is nursing care at home really great? The answer from both healthcare professionals and those benefiting from these services is a definitive yes. Let’s get into the reasons why nursing care at home is increasingly recognized as a fantastic option for individuals in need of care.
1. Personalized Attention:
Nursing care at home stands out for its ability to provide personalized attention to the unique needs of each individual. Unlike hospitals, where care may be more generalized, home nursing services focus on creating customized care plans that address specific health requirements.
2. Comfort and Familiarity:
Getting care at home is really helpful because you’re in a place you know well and surrounded by the people and things you love. This makes you feel comfortable and happy, which is good for your mind and emotions. Being in a familiar environment can help you recover more quickly.
3. Independence and Dignity:
Home nursing services help people keep their freedom and dignity, which can sometimes be hard in a hospital. When you get care at home, you can be more involved in decisions about your health. You can choose what’s best for you and what you prefer, which helps you feel in control and respected. It’s all about making sure you can be yourself while getting the care you need.
4. Reduced Risk of Infections:
When you’re at home, there’s usually less chance of getting sick compared to being in a hospital or other places where people go for healthcare. This is really important for people who might easily get sick because their immune systems aren’t very strong or they have ongoing health issues. Home nursing makes sure that the risk of catching new infections is lower while you’re getting the care you need. It’s all about keeping you safe and healthy in your own comfortable space.
5. Family Involvement:
One really good thing about getting nursing care at home is that your family can be a part of taking care of you. This means they can give you love and comfort, which helps you feel better not just in your body but also in your heart. It’s like having a whole team, with your family and the nurses working together to make sure you’re happy and well. It’s not just about medicine; it’s about everyone helping you in every way possible, and it also creates a support system that extends beyond medical treatment.
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feb 5
Going to the dentist today, it's not the routine cleaning that will bother me, beyond the usual sensory issues, it's that they better accept I'm not paying $$$$$ I don't have to get the root canals that aren't bothering me redone, the dark mark is quite possibly the piece of drill left in there, and because the roots are in my sinuses there's little reason to go thru all that mess when if the tooth(s) do go bad pulling them would solve everything and be covered leaving only the bone graft which is $$$.
And you know what, if the health system gets overhauled I might not even have to pay for a bone graft out of pocket or it'll be even less because it's ridiculous disabled people have to pay for non elective medical care when our government is funding shit it shouldn't be funding.
Not talking about things like the polygamous whooping crane husband because healthy wetlands help prevent floods. Not talking about early education or general/basic arts in school.
How we got orange president back is a lot like situations where the Golden Child fucks over the whole family. Telling someone no is good parenting, fuck your feelings, you're physically too fat to fit in my car.

I have to tote my goats back there. They are La Manacha, that's what's up with their ears.
Still writing this draft of the boy band story, I'm projecting that should take a better part of the month, like with the previous story this is a fleshing out of the notes and will still need to be expanded upon in the next draft which will be typed.
As old as my current tablet is I am holding off buying a new one, or at least as long as this one still works and gets updates. When it no longer does it becomes the bathroom tablet until the battery dies. On one hand I'd like an even bigger screen but on the other I also want more memory. So I'm going to wait at least until I find out if they're making a new updated one this year.
No birthday doll yet, except the surprise one I got for $1 inside a purple heart nail polish bottle. But really I don't need one.
I've got to get out the Obitsu 60, heat up his arm, and put the replacement shoulder joint in it so he can be together for five minutes before something else happens. I wish he would make up his mind if he wants a new body or not.
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12.20.2024 - Some Reflecting
Today is Friday.
I feel like I rarely write on Fridays, but I am procrastinating right now. I was cleaning my room, but I showered and had some taco bell. As the title says, I do plan on reflecting in this post and reviewing some big things that happened during this year.
Let's just tackle the biggest thing in my life because it's the most toxic thing I have ever chosen to do. My friendship with Taylor. I have been able to distance myself more, and I say that because I don't feel the anxious attachment that I felt before LOL. That kind of sounds like a shit thing to say because it makes things sound a bit disingenuous, but I really care about our friendship (like I've said multiple times). Our relationship is a huge part of my life and mental health, but I think that I have been able to draw a more clear like than before with my own emotions and attachment. I am only speaking for myself though because Taylor is still him. We did have a moment a few days ago with that suspicious cross the line part of our relationship, but I have decided to never be the one who initiates. I am trying my best to do what I can to handle our friendship. Let me just mention this too. Yes, based on the date, we did send each other Christmas, and we did plan to spend Christmas together? Not really planned, but we talked about opening gifts together on Christmas. Other than those things, our relationship still hasn't changed much on the surface, and the changes for mostly me and my personal issues.
Now to something a little more important. I finished my master's degree! Woooo! I say woo, but I don't really feel accomplished. First, I used chat gpt quite a bit to keep up with going to school full time and working full time. I was able to understand a lot of concepts because of my research background, but the actual coding was not for me. Learning how to code was just way too difficult of a task for me in such a short time. I feel no sense of accomplishment because of that, and I was basically blacked out looking back at myself. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I learned stuff for a whole new career and working at the same time. I just don't think I did that I "learned". I just survived. Second, I looked at some job descriptions, and I feel like I am very lacking for many of the data science positions. I think the most common this is being proficient in SQL, but I only took one class on it. Tableu? Table? I don't know how to spell that, and I did not take a class on it. How is that on every job description, but I didn't even take a class. Wild. I try to ignore this fact because I have been told many times that the more you learn the more you feel like you don't know. Oh boy, oh boy. I agree. Every single class I took made me feel so inadequate. Third.. I don't know what I wanna do because this next job might be my job for the next 10+ years or I learn that I hate this new career path I took. I just feel very unprepared. NO WORRIES THOUGH. I have a decent plan. I am gonna tackle the biggest perpetrator to my anxiety, and that is, the learning experience. I am planning to teach myself stuff that I didn't feel comfortable with, and I will be able to really sit down and think about it since I am going to have 2 full weeks off of work. I also said don't feel comfortable with, but I plan on doing everything because I have questions for all of the things I learned. I want to believe that I will start my leaning journey on Monday. I wanna chill and clean my room this weekend since I will actually be home instead of running around.
Time to reflect on my work out and diet journey. Hm... around this time last year, I found out I had Hashimoto's disease, and it's just been undiagnosed for 27 years. Crazy. Hashimoto's disease is an autoimmune disorder in which the immune system attacks the thyroid gland, often leading to hypothyroidism (an underactive thyroid). This can result in symptoms like fatigue, weight gain, and difficulty processing food efficiently, including carbs, due to a slower metabolism. Thanks Chat GPT. This diagnoses made so much sense to me (Thanks Dr. Newbold and not the other lady before her) because I feel like I have always had issues with my weight even though I have been an athlete for most of my life. I will say that I did not eat a proper diet until relatively recently. I started 2024 with a simple task of limiting my carb intake and working out more consistently. I would say that I have been doing pretty well this year, and I lost it a bit towards the end here. It couldn't be helped though because I have been traveling a lot. My Hashimoto's is dormant from what I was told though. That's a good thing hehehe. I am going to up my diet and plans a little more this coming year since I have been doing well.
I want to limit my carbs more because I spent this year being very conscious of my carb intake, but this new year, I want to add a restriction. I am planning to add carbs for only one meal. I think this will also help with the intense bloating I feel.
Upping my fiber intake. This is big for me because I have hemorrhoids from stressing and school work, but I am done with school, so I need to really work on my stomach health. This is simple. I need to legitimately start eating more greens.
Caloric restrictions. I didn't really watch my calorie intake this year because I worked on eating 3 meals a day a day while intermittent fasting, and it went well. I think it really helped me, but I want to lose fat this year. Like, I want to dedicate 2025 to that since 2024 was for building habits and fixing bad ones. I will stick to the 12 hour fast and full 3 meals, but I'll add the calorie restrictions (1800 calories) and add a carb limit.
This one is small, but I always think about it. I need to really slow down when I am eating because I usually feel extremely full 30 mins later. It would also help my digestion.
Okay, I am going to discuss the future a little bit. I have decided to renew my contract at USF, and I am going to push back my moving plans too. I decided this was best because I've been working, but I have been spending too. I have not saved properly to move out and live comfortably. I did A LOT of traveling and spending after I graduated. I am planning to travel way way less and spend way way less in 2025 because my savings is not pretty. I also haven't looked for a new job, so I will be doing that in 2025 too.
Overall, I feel like I have had a very GO GO GO kind of year, and I want to spend 2025 on myself. I tried doing that in 2024, but I was just doing shit all the time LOL. I did so some of that with my diet and exercising, but I was pretty bogged down by school. Let's finish 2024 strong and have a good 2025!
-P
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Society used to be (still is, in far too many ways) crammed to the gills with petty tyrants who could use your needs for necessities like food, shelter, or health care, and therefore your need for money which you didn't have, as a lever with which to control your behavior. Churches were a big one ("if you want to eat, then I'd better see you in church every Sunday! And your life had better conform to how we want it to be in all respects! And, hey, you know, your daughter's coming to be a of a certain age, you think you could...") And so were employers ("if you want be be able to pay rent and put food on the table, you'd better be ready to work twelve hours a day with no bathroom breaks or workplace safety regulations!") And so were political machines ("you want the roads in their neighborhood to be maintained, and the streetlights to keep working, and the cops to keep the criminals away? Then you'd better vote Tammany in the next election!") And so was the mob ("some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a favor for me...")
The entire creation of the modern welfare state took away a ton of these levers (though sadly, not all of them) and neutered a ton of petty tyrants, by taking the things that they'd previously been able to blackmail you with by threatening to take them away if you didn't dance to their tune, and making them available to everyone, making them their due as citizens rather than a transactional arrangement in which you were extorted for everything you had.
... This is also almost definitely why our elites have been turning more and more rabidly against democracy. They were never that crazy about it in the first place, but in the early years, they figured they had the system hacked; so long as there was no economic democracy, it wouldn't matter too much if there was political democracy. You might not have a title and a fancy sword, but as long as you could switch all of your peons' life necessities on and off at a whim, you were basically an aristocrat in the ways that really matter. But social changes have made it harder and harder for them to throw that switch, and so now they're increasingly ready to burn the whole thing down.
I am finding out that a lot of things I thought were common knowledge about Christian Fundamentalism are not in fact common knowledge.
Like with the aid freeze, people were like why would they do this? And I was like cause they want churches to be the only option for aid.
And people were shocked. And I was also shocked that this wasn't like...more well known. I grew up with people who were anti-aid because they felt that belonged to the church and made people behave more worldly if they could get it elsewhere. It was so well known it was a debate topic in my Philosophy of Religion course in high school.
I'm just...I'm concerned at how little some groups seem to know about Christian Fundamentalism. I wish I could help translate more.
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Keegan the husky.
This is our (?) dog, jack/Keegan. He’s an absolute blessing from the doggy distribution system because he’s a husky. If he’s been out of a house sense August (in Ohio), I can’t think of what life was like for him.

Keegan is so skinny. You can feel most of his bones. He is the most kind dog, the definition of a sweet heart. He smells like death but that literally doesn’t stop me from loving every boney inch of him. He’s finally in a place that will love and care for him as much as we possibly can.

He is unchipped but was thankfully neutered, so he doesn’t have offspring running around that we know of. He’s a young adult, around 2 years old. He has a very slight limp and, obviously, has had no checkups or health stuff done.
But, my god, he is a sweetheart. Such a good boy. So far, he’s been great with the people he’s gone into contact with. He can eat out of your hand. He’s calm when you open the door (though he does look). He wants to be by my side, probably because he thinks he’s going to get abandoned again.
Keegan might get put to sleep. Though the shelters around here are “no kill”, they don’t have the staffing and specialties required to make sure he gets the care he needs- to make sure he gains weight, his poops are solid, has no worms, no cancer/tumors, etc. The shelters would take him if he was in better shape. If it was a simple thing like needing a dewormer or vaccines because he would be a surrender, then sure! But he is skinny. His is my whole heart right now.
For right now, he’s resting on the floor as I type this out. His breaths are even and quiet. He’s calm and at my feet. I have to wait to see what will happen tomorrow morning. I just started a new job but the money won’t come in until later. I want so bad to fight for this poor dog that’s been through hell. Keegan is a great dog, please send him good vibes.
#Keegan#animal welfare#dog distribution system#lost dogs#ask to tag#husky#Husky dogs#spread the word#street dogs
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3. “The whole MAGA cult is just very frightening to every sane person.”
“As a European watching this and other elections, it continues to blow my mind how fragile your system seems to be. There is a lot that's wrong in politics where I'm from, but I fully trust our democratic process, at least, and have never once thought about anything other than my own choice when voting. The whole Electoral College thing making geography the deciding factor over which vote is important? The gerrymandering, the costs of campaigns, the different rules in different states, the voter registration, the differing circumstances under which you cast your ballots, and how they are ultimately counted.
People are being intimidated on their way to the booth, it's sometimes difficult to keep your vote secret or to avoid being influenced in the voting place, partisan people might count votes and confirm the results... Seems like the system invites malfeasance.”
—Hana, Germany
4. “It’s scary that Trump has been able to brainwash half a nation using fear and division… and can still be taken seriously in this day and age, especially in one of the world's largest economies.”
Sony Pictures Entertainment/Zombieland / Via youtube.com
—dantruemanmail, England
5. “I have so much anxiety over this election.”
“I know what it will mean for our world if Trump gets in, and it’s terrifying. I’m also pretty horrified that he has so many supporters. How can they not see he’s another Hitler?”
—nostalgicmug67, Australia
10. “We’re laughing, but also crying.”
“I’m very nervous about what could happen on a global scale. The man has constant temper tantrums and nuclear codes — great combo. That and a dictator's ambition. I’m very worried for the world. And I’m laughing at Trump supporters. People that stupid shouldn’t be allowed to vote."
—Eileen Bouman, Netherlands
12. “As a non-American who moved here last year —from the UK— I'm constantly disappointed and surprised at the extent to which people —on both sides (but more so on the Trump one)— simply do not listen to each other or care about facts.”
“People will happily repeat things they've heard that have either been proven false, or are literally impossible — and state it as if it's a legitimate reason to have their opinion.
I find it terrifying that the impact of statements is entirely down to the statement, and not whether it's actually true. People seem to have deliberately, willingly switched off their capacity to weigh evidence and make decisions based on it. Instead, they form an opinion and choose which 'evidence' supports it, happy to pick things that are made up, or simply wild conspiracy. It feels like everyone's reverting to a time before things were actually checkable. The one glimmer of hope is that most people —even those who claim to hold abhorrent, bigoted views based on lies— seem not to act on those views when it comes to one-on-one interaction. So I guess...everyone hates everyone, but not in person?”
—Jamey, United Kingdom (via Los Angeles)
23. “I think America has gone completely insane.”
Drazen Zigic / Getty Images
“As a woman, it hurts even more to know that over 70 million Americans voted for a man who brags about his sexual assaults on women. It is genuinely baffling to watch from abroad. I wish Americans could understand that the entire world is affected by the U.S. president. We are all going to suffer from the climate crisis, and the people of Palestine and Ukraine are completely f-cked. This will also affect funding for women's health in developing nations. It's a disaster all around. I'm angry…and honestly completely f-cking furious with everyone who voted for this dangerous liar. If America wants to flush itself down the toilet, that's up to them, but you'll take us all with you.”
—Hannah, Scotland
24. “I dunno what's going on in Americans’ heads.”
“At this point, I just think Americans like him. They like that he's a felon; that he gets away with basically everything; that he's a rapist; vulgar; crude; a liar; that he screws over people who worked for him; that he's going senile. They have all the info they need on him. We all do. And they like him. He reflects American values. I didn't believe that after he won the first time. People hated Hillary and didn't really know him. But now? I just think he reflects that vast majority of Americans.”
—Anonymous, Canada
25. And finally, “Your elections are insane.”
Dougberry / Getty Images
“The electoral system is nuts. Donald Trump ‘won’ the 2016 election by getting fewer votes than his opponent. Stephen Colbert, who I think is a generally smart and self-aware guy, referred to America being ‘the greatest democracy in the world’ whilst discussing an election where the candidate who got fewer votes won. That is not a hallmark of a great democracy. Also, if you want foreigners not to have opinions on your elections, you need to stop referring to POTUS as ‘the leader of the free world.’ As a resident of the free world (UK), I have some thoughts.
I'd also like to add that I don't think our electoral system is any better. Our current government got a huge majority by getting just over a third of the vote. That's silly. But I don't claim it's the best country in the world either."
—EdwardJeff, United Kingdom
Contrary to the propaganda spewed on the right, Trump is NOT considered a strong, respected leader around the world. Rather, he is considered a corrupt, mercurial, unhinged, regressive, far-right politician whose impact on the U.S. and the world will be destructive.
Most of the world thinks LESS of America because Trump was voted into office.
Still, I wish the world (and Trump) realized the 2024 vote did NOT reflect all or even most Americans preferences. According to US News & World Report, That's because about 89 million or 36% of the 245 million Americans who were "eligible to vote" DIDN'T vote in 2024.
Today (11/17/24) with 152.4 million (98.1%) of the votes counted, 76.4 million (or 50.1%) voted for Trump--only 2.7 million more than the 73.7 million who voted for Harris.
Leaving the roughly 2.6 million votes that haven't been counted yet out of the equation, that would mean that roughly 31.5 % of eligible voters voted for Trump in 2024.
So basically less than a third of eligible American voters elected Trump. That is hardly a "mandate," and hardly representative of the American people.
But because more than a third of Americans sat out this election, a minority of right-wing Republicans and low-information "Independents" have sold our country down the drain to neofascism--mostly because the price of eggs was too high--leaving most of the world shaking their heads in disbelief.
Foreigners are better informed about US politics than half of Americans.
#trump#2024 election#reaction of those from other countries#less than a third of eligible voters voted for trump#36% of eligible voters sat out the election#buzzfeed
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I'm gonna have to politely remove Plo from the narrative because I'm obviously biased and perhaps a few more Jedi in the mix that I'm sure one or more people here in Tumblr would vouch for. But as I am your local Plo Koon / Kel Dor ho, here's my two cents.
Beginning with Plo Koon on Raising Malevolence. One would argue that Plo Koon might have been raised more of a Jedi than a Kel Dor but we have to account the fact that he did a summer break to get back to his roots and learn the ways of the Baran Do Sages. Thus, expanding his knowledge and deepening his understanding on balancing the ever misconstrued value of life, attachment, and so on and so forth.
An exerpt:
Kel Dors were noted for their simple approach to justice, and they typically saw moral issues in black and white. On the one hand, the Kel Dor were noted for their hospitality, they would never turn away a stranger in need. Yet, Kel Dors were not averse to taking the law into their own hands, and had no compunctions about putting to death a thief who was merely stealing to feed himself.
In that pivotal moment, you he could have gone the route of an inspirational speech that commends their valiant effort as disposable troops who have given their life for the greater good. He could have formulated a plan to ensure his safety given that he is more valuable to the Order and to the betterment of this never-ending space war shenanigans.
But..
Ya boy. My mans. My king. My babylove, carrot cinnamo-bunned god of a husband, hit you with that plap plap plap...
I'm also going to highlight the way Plo Koon handled Boba Fett in Lethal Trackdown. We can obviously assume he knows Boba's a clone, altered or not. We can also throw in the fact that he needed Boba's intel and it's a very right Jedi thing to do to 'spare' Boba. There is urgency, but there is no dismissal.
Do I have a point? It's coming I swear. I got derailed.
MY POINT is, if this is at all being enunciated in ways I had pictured in my mind is..
There is a heirarchy of importance that I think the majority of our beloved Jedi would have to abide by not by choice, but by upbringing and their sense of obligation and devoutness to the whole system.
Maybe they did raise up a petition or some sorts as most of us hope and had imagined, but I think it wasn't the big thing that would merit moving the entire galaxy on hold to make happen.
The roles were clearly implied with the Jedi being war generals. Their focus is either defense or offense and anything that fell over what the troops needed were in the political side. Chuchi was making that move and by the gods, praise be to her. Padme was also doing her best. But that's where the line is drawn.
In my opinion, they cared. They heavily cared. They cared so much that you have seen on multiple occasions how Jedi would put themselves in the line of fire to save their men like Obi to Cody, Plo to them boys, and so on.
They cared a lot but they do what they have to do. It's like how it is most unwise to commit to the shepherd's wisdom. You can't risk an entire flock to save a sheep, but that doesn't mean you don't want to.
On a personal take with absolutely no canon base what so ever and only specific to Plo which I would shamelessly slide into any discussion what so ever...
Plo has lived through the horros of life for 400 years. Yoda has too. Anyone old within the venerable stage of their respective lifespan would have probably been so disensitized to loss and grief, on top of the misconstrued form of not developing attachment and the understanding that goes with it or the primitive aspect of it (grey areas and shit), they're a little hardened by experience and time.
A death of a few troops, the mismanagement of their needs and being trated like dispensable tools as opposed to having maybe proper health care and other things, falls under the non-prio.
SO yes, Idk if I made sense, I've been away too long and I'm too stressy-depressy, but anything to sajdaksjda over my husband. Anywho, have a:
The first time we see Yoda, leader of the Council, in tcw, he’s explicitly affirming the individuality and importance of the clones. He then teaches them how to connect to the Force, the most sacred tenet of the religion he’s dedicated his life to.
The first time we see Plo Koon, a Jedi Master, in tcw, he clearly tells his clone troopers that they are not expendable to him, and then proceeds to do his absolute best to save as many clones as possible.
The first time we see Anakin in tcw he has his clones fly an unnecessary suicide mission because he wants the glory of killing Grievous. He doesn’t even stop when he hears them all dying—his Padawan, a 14-year-old, has to yell at him that no one else will survive what he’s doing before he changes his plan.
And people STILL say that Anakin is the Jedi who cared about the clones the most. Seriously?
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Benefits for Over 60s in the UK: A Firsthand Account
I've discovered that turning 60 in the UK brought unexpected perks. Suddenly, I'm accessing a third on train travel with my Senior Railcard, and hopping on buses for free off-peak. It's made exploring more enticing, not to mention the bonus community tips. Healthcare's another win; no more prescription charges and discounted dental services mean I'm looking after my health without the worry of costs. And the social side? Cinemas, restaurants, even art classes at lower prices make every day more enjoyable. It government benefits for 60 year olds uk feels like a well-kept secret, accessing all these benefits. Stick around, and I'll share how it's breathed new life into my routine.
Travel Discounts Unveiled
Many over 60s in the UK can greatly reduce their travel costs, thanks to a variety of discounts and schemes designed with them in mind. I've personally navigated these waters and found a sea of opportunities for us to explore the country—or even just our local towns—without breaking the bank.
First off, the Senior Railcard has been a game-changer for me. It offers 1/3 off rail fares across Britain, making those visits to friends, family, and new destinations much more accessible. I've saved a bundle on my travels and it's encouraged me to venture out more often.
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Then there's the bus pass, which I've found to be an invaluable asset in my day-to-day life. Once you hit the magic age, you're eligible for free off-peak travel on local buses anywhere in England. It's not just benefits for 60 a money-saver; it's a ticket to freedom and independence, especially for those of us who might not drive.
Engaging with these discounts has not just eased the strain on my wallet, but it's also given me a sense of belonging. There's a whole benefits for over 60s uk community of us taking advantage of these benefits, sharing tips, and making the most of our golden years.
Healthcare Benefits Explained
Moving on from travel perks, let's talk about something that directly impacts our well-being: healthcare benefits. I'm thrilled to share that once you hit 60, you become eligible for free prescriptions and can access NHS dental services at discounted rates. It's a relief knowing that our healthcare needs are less of a financial burden in our golden years.
Free Prescription Eligibility
I'm excited to explore how individuals over 60 in the UK can benefit from free prescription eligibility, an essential aspect of healthcare benefits. Turning 60 brought me a pleasant surprise—no more paying for prescriptions! This has been a huge relief for my budget, especially considering the rising costs of medication. It's a simple process too; all I had to do was show my proof of age at the pharmacy, and that was it. There's a profound sense of community and care in knowing that our healthcare system supports us in this way as we age. It's not just about saving money; it's about feeling valued and looked after. This benefit has made managing my health easier and less str

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